Don’t you love how we are constantly in competition? Constantly being judged? What kind of student we are, what kind of friend we are, what kind of wife we are, what kind of athlete we are…the list is endless. Constant scrutiny. Constant competition. Its non-stop, from the time we are born. Our milestones are marked. When we first crawled, when we first walked…are we delayed in developing. Should there be concern? Exhausting, when you really stop to think about it.
Why? What is with the constant competition? Why is society so stressed out about who is the best at this, or that? It’s a dog eat dog world for sure. I’m a driven person…I might not eat you up, but I loved to win. But my ongoing question, even to myself is, why? Why am I competitive? Why am I constantly on pursuit for perfection? Why do I set so many goals for myself? Why is everything a competition?
As we get older, you would think we’d grow up, but oh…my…Parents are also guilty…actually, I would have to say the worst. Constantly in competition with other parents…whose kid is the best at this, whose kid is the best at that…it’s honestly shameful! We all want what is best for our children, which is our parental instincts, but when parents put other children down, and hope bad things will happen to them, because they don’t like the other kid, or the kid’s parents…really? Take a long look in the mirror people…they are children!
You might question…does this really happen? All the time! How many of us are guilty of boasting, and bragging about our children…I know I have! I love them so much, pride just creeps out…but it is something that is a work in progress. I try now, to just limit my excitement to my immediate family and close friends, but many times it is hard! I know how hard my children work for things, but as I study the word of God, I’m learning that this isn’t what he wants from us.
It says in Phillipians 2:3-4, “Don’t do anything from selfish ambition or from a cheap desire to boast, but be humble toward one another, always considering others better than yourselves. And look out for one another’s interests, not just for your own.”
Is putting other people’s children down, considering others to be better than yourself? I don’t think so. Is boasting about your life, your child’s life, or what you have, being humble? Do you look down on other people for what they look like, what they come from or what they have? Are you looking after others interests, or just your own?
As I age, and circle the sun daily, I look back and realize how much I have to learn about this amazing world we live in. I do love looking at how far I’ve come. I can’t wait to see what I have learned by the time I’m 80! I love how we evolve as individuals, due to our circumstances that we are faced with. The things life throws at us are meant to help us grow!
I believe competition is good…it helps us analyze ourselves…show us where we need to grow, or what we need to work on…but the competition should be with ourselves, not with others…and definitely not other people’s children.
My children are both also very competitive, but I am setting a goal for myself…I know, I know…there is that word again…but, I think goals are good. My goal is to raise humble children, who when they are successful don’t boast about their accomplishments. I don’t want to squash their competitive nature, but I want to make them more goal oriented instead of competitive. I do believe there is a difference. Goals are something you set for yourself, and have nothing to do with anyone else.
As a parent, I am setting the goal for myself, to support my children in achieving their goals, but I am aware, they might fail once and a while, trying to achieve their goal. This will teach them where they need work. I will be proud when they attain their goals, but also model humbleness so they can see how God wants us to behave. Most importantly, I will promote the other children around them letting them realize that when other children reach their goals, or do well, it is a time to celebrate…NOT to bad mouth them, or think they are undeserving of their accomplishments. We all can’t be amazing at everything…and there is always someone in the world that is better than you…that is what life is all about.
If we don’t achieve our goals, we keep trying, and trying with a happy heart, realizing that maybe we need to readjust our goals…or even our life priorities. Setting goals is a healthy way to be successful, without competing against others!