My parents are very fortunate, they get to travel to Florida and spend our chilly winter months basking in the Florida sun! They’ve been doing this since my father retired and are loving every minute of it! Who wouldn’t, right? Well, I know person who doesn’t love it-me! I hate it! My parents are such a huge part of my day-to-day life that this has been a complete adjustment period for me—a season in my life that I had to experience.
The first year they went, it was horrible. My children were devastated, because they are such a vast part of their lives. My son wouldn’t eat, because he was used to my mother cooking him up his favorite dishes, and nothing that I cooked would compare to Mimi’s. They cried for them night and day, and it would stress me out that they missed them so much.
I myself had a major adjustment period as well, so much that I was losing big patches of my hair. My life was so stressed without them in it, I was that overwhelmed that I was losing hair. Crazy you might think that I was that dependent on my parents, but they did so much for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a lazy person, but I am scheduled to the max. Being a teacher we do 12 months of work in a 10 month period, I coached gymnastics which is equivalent to another part time job and trying to be a wife and a mom on top of all that was near impossible. Thus, I relied on my mom very heavily.
She is amazing to me. She drops in during the day, and tidies up my home. Some days she starts supper, or is at my home when I get home from work with a hot supper read for me to eat and run again. Laundry, just magically gets done when my mom is home, and the dishwasher comes alive and empties itself. Not to mention, just the baked goods that miraculously appear in my cupboards, and the fresh rolls and bread that is there to accompany our meals. It’s incredible. There is no magical housework fairy, or no invisible baker, it’s ALL my mom.
In the beginning, when they would travel down south, it was a huge slap in my face—like I lost my parents. I could talk to them on the phone, but they weren’t involved in my life anymore. Their smiling faces weren’t there to watch my kids at their sporting events, they weren’t there to take my son to the orthodontist, they weren’t available to have sleepovers when my children missed them and wanted some special alone time with them. It was like our world came to an end. It was a definite adjustment for all of us. HUGE!
Since this is their fifth winter going down, honestly, the pain is nowhere as intense. We’ve learn to adjust to life without them. The kids are older now and are great help with cleaning the house, and have replaced my magical cleaning fairy. I have learned to organize and plan suppers better, so that there is always a hot meal to come home to. I use every available minute to work my life as efficiently as possible. I have to or I wouldn’t be able to juggle it all.
They Facetime us now, and usually, we don’t have time to talk. We are either at gymnastics, or basketball, or I’m out for a run, because every minute of my day is scheduled. They are coming home in a few days after being away for 3 months and don’t get me wrong, I’m very relieved that they are here to enjoy their grandchildren with me, but I am no longer losing hair over them not being around.
We all have to go through hard times. Maybe you are going through a separation or divorce, maybe you’ve really lost a loved one (my deepest sympathies! 😦 ), maybe you’ve lost a job or can’t find work and are struggling financially. Whatever it is that is making you lose your hair, take it from someone who has been there! You adjust, and you learn to move forward with a “new” normal. It’s not fun, and it may take you years, but if you turn to our Divine Creator the transition will go much smoother.
Matthew 9:22 encourages me, “But Jesus turning and seeing her said, “Daughter, take courage; your faith has made you well.” At once the woman was made well.” In order to get through my tough time with no parents, I chose to turn to God, and build my relationship with him. I’ve learned to turn to my father in heaven for all those things that I was turning to my mother for, and believe it or not, he was there right by my side for the three months she was gone, and ever since. He filled the gap, and even more if you can image that! Life without my mom is sad, and lonely, but it’s not as lonely when I have God by my side! I’ve found my true father that completes me. If I’m feeling down, I found a trick that is easier than picking up the phone. I read the Bible, and being fulfilled and reassured by God’s word helps me through sad or stressful times.
Are you going through a tough time in your life? Wake up a little early and start your morning in God’s word. He talks to all his children, you just have to sit patiently and listen! His word ensures us he will never let us down!