Untie the Knots

What is it with girls and their jewelry?  I love it, and now, my daughter is getting addicted too.  She is very sporty, as I was in my younger days, but is still drawn to the bling of a nice necklace, earrings or bracelet.  Lately I just bought her a cross that lays sideways on her chest and she proudly wears it everywhere she goes.  Unfortunately, she has to take it off at gymnastics, and then, of course, I stashed it into my jacket pocket for its safe keeping.

The other day I arrived home from my run and as I slid my hand into my jacket pocket, there was her necklace.  This poor thing, just got bounced up and down in my pocket for 30 minutes, and when I pulled it out of my pocket, it was no longer a necklace, but a ball of silver chain linked into many knots.

Isn’t that the way life goes?  We start off with all these wonderful intentions, this remarkable gem.  We are fresh and full of life, and then life happens.  We might make a poor choice, and things start to unravel before our eyes.  We then try to fix it, only somehow we seem to make it worse and then years later, we can’t even recognize what something once was.

Let’s use marriage for an example.  Think about how excited you were when you and your spouse started out.  I remember, I was incredibly in love and thought I had the most amazing man in my life.  Everything we did seem to click and I was beyond happy.  We did lots of little things to show each other how we cared for one another and how each of us were thinking about each other endlessly.  It was magical!

Time goes by and life starts to knot the chain of marriage up.  We booked our lives too thin, we had children and priorities changed.  I remember thinking I could never love anything as much as my husband, until my first born child came along.  Then I found a new kind of love, a motherly love.  Sadly, I started to mess up my priorities.  I started putting my child’s needs in front of my husbands.  This had to be a huge shock to him, because for three years prior to the birth of our son, my life revolved around his happiness.

Looking back I can name many instances, and events that just kept knotting up our marriage.  We were both guilty of adding knots.  One thing at a time just added another knot.  Instead of 30 minutes of bouncing in a pocket, this marriage necklace now had 16 years of knots—and suddenly, I couldn’t believe that we were where we were.

I took my daughter’s necklace and patiently unwound each knot, pulling the necklace in different directions and unloosening different kinks, and eventually, it was as good as new.  The same can happen in life.  You have to take the time to investigate what needs to change.  With my marriage, my first change was making my husband my number one priority again, because without him, WE are nothing.  I don’t have a marriage without him, I am just a single parent with two children, and that is not the way I set out in this life.  I want our marriage to be a happy union of mother, father, husband, wife, and friendship.

The devil wants to knot up any relationship and kill it.  Anything that is good and true, he wants to kill, and we are stupid enough to let it happen.  1 Peter 5:8 tells us “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.”  Please, don’t let the devil devour your marriage!  Be vigilant and work at fixing the knots!

We aren’t big at fixing things now-a-days.  If it is broke, or knotted up like this necklace, we usually throw it out and get ourselves a new one.  Marriages are no different.  Sure, we hurt one another.  Sure we do stupid stuff to each other.  We are only human.  Try and remember the way you felt about your spouse before the knots infested your relationship—before the devil got at it.  Do you remember how incredibly important this person was to you?  That person is still there, you just have to try and pick out the knots that time has made, and you will find an even more amazing person, who has been through many of life great moments with you.  Your connections are still there, even deeper actually.  It just takes some time to take out the knots.

Pick away at the knots and changes that you need to make and watch the amazing relationship come back to life.  If you need help, look in the Bible, and transform it to what God created marriage to be.  You might be pleasantly surprise to see what the relationship is really meant to be like, and don’t let the devil try and ruin your relationship, or anything you love, ever again!

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