I couldn’t believe my eyes last week! There was a Tornado Warning for the southern part of my province. A tornado is unheard of in our area, but somehow, some way there was a warning issued by Environment Canada and the social media sites were in a frenzy. People were sharing and posting their thoughts. One part of me, my outer self, was thinking how thrilling it would be to actually witness a tornado, but then the rational part of me though of the devastation that it could bring.
Visions of television newscasts flashed before my eyes, giving me a very quick reminder that these bad boys can rip homes right off their foundations. They could turn cars over like pancakes. This isn’t a time to want to experience a tornado for the fun of just to say that I’ve lived through a tornado. Actually, who’s to say that I might even live through it?
Eventually my rational, inner self kicked in and reminded me of the damage a tornado could leave a family, and this is one girl that doesn’t want her family uprooted or homeless. But how many grown adults make choices thinking only of how amazing something might be to experience. Just like I did with the tornado. I see many marriages struggling because people want the thrill of seeing that tornado that they haven’t ever seen or experienced even if it is going to bring total destruction to their entire family. They don’t think with their rational, inner selves but instead they want the adrenaline rush and let their outer selves win.
I’m sure almost every marriage has experienced it. When I think back how I used to be with my husband when we were first dating, our relationship is only a shadow of what that once was. My life revolved around my boyfriend that eventually became the man I call my husband. I would plan exciting trips for us. My evenings were all about him! I would spend my entire day dreaming of thrilling things for us to fill our lives with. I wanted him to think that I was the bomb. The girl that he could never live without.
I did convince him of this and landed, what was to me, the most incredible man in the entire universe. He was definitely my tornado, and I was loving the experience of the thrill of new love and all that came with it. We experienced so many firsts together. He is the first person that I went to a tropical place with. He was the first person that I moved in with. He was the first person that felt like I couldn’t live without.
We eventually got married and time quickly ticked by. We had many more firsts together. First new home. First child. First time business owners. Two children family. First official family vacation. As we kept notching more firsts into our story of marriage, many other notches were being made too. Notches of total exhaustion trying to balance it all. Notches of financial strain that comes with two very active and expensive children. Notches of many stored up emotions that were left uncommunicated.
Now the tornado is reaching new levels of danger. No longer are we married to the person of our dreams, but we feel like we are in the eye of the storm. Years of hurt, anger, bitterness, disappointment, and total fatigue are swirling around in an angry rage now, and we are left with a marriage that is now under a Tornado Warning.
You can deny it, or try and hide it from the world, but every marriage goes through some sort of Tornado Warning. You can go out and play in that warning, and seek the areas that your marriage might be lacking in. Usually it’s attention, because we all get wrapped up in the reality of life, kids, work, and more work. Then someone else starts giving us that attention that we are feeling neglected by our spouse. Finally, the person you might work with, see at the gym, or other people your path crosses are finally making you feel good again. Then you want to seek the thrill of the storm, even if it means that your entire world is going to crumble around you.
Psalms 107:29 says, “He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed.” Your tornado warning can be calmed, if you turn to your Divine Creator and ask him to calm your storm. You don’t have to give into the thrill or the total devastation it might cause. You have the power through God to calm your marriage storm, and restore it back to what it was when you first met.
Our actual Tornado Warning was very short lived, and hopefully if you are feeling a tornado coming on in your marriage yours will be short lived too. Of course to free your marriage of a tornado warning, it is going take work, and some attention. Just try remembering what it was like to be with your boyfriend, or girlfriend before they became your spouse. Make an effort to do the things that you used to do for them. You might think that your spouse isn’t filling your needs, but did you ever wonder if you are filling theirs?