I have the best family! My mom is such an angel, and well…my dad is my mom’s assignment here on Earth. All joking aside, my mom is a true angel. She sees the best in everyone and rarely shows a bit of anger…unless of course, my dad is being my dad. She’s entitled to that. But really she is just a saint, and I have learned so much from growing up around her.
Her mother, sadly, was a bad alcoholic. My childhood memories of her mom weren’t the best. I couldn’t understand at the time, why my mom just took what her drunken mother dished out. Patiently my mom tried to explain to me that alcoholism is a sickness, but this is hard to understand at a young age. Of course I was protective of my mother, like every child is, and wasn’t fond of someone being mean to my mom.
As I got older, and started to dabble with alcohol myself, I still couldn’t understand my grandmother’s actions. First of all, how could someone stay drunk for more than one day? The after effects hurt way more than the worth of the night of fun.
My friends and I would laugh as we reminisce, “You were so hammered and stupid! Do you remember doing this?” And many times, my friends of course didn’t remember doing these foolish acts, because they were drunk. I think we can all say that we’ve been there before…at least once in our lives. You may have changed since your younger, promiscuous days, but I’m sure you still remember.
Whatever the reason of a person getting intoxicated, you have to admit, when they do something stupid and totally out of character for themselves, onlookers will have the reaction of, “Man, you are really drunk.” They might even laugh at the person and look past their horrifying actions, knowing that this isn’t the usual person that lives inside their body. They understand that alcohol has created them to act in this totally foreign manner. It’s easy when you know the cause of why people act the way they do, and we cut people slack due to their alcohol intake.
When in reality they should be asking, “Why are you being so stupid?” There is no reason to act like this, but instead we comfort the person because we understand why they acted that way. These foreign chemicals changed them and we can easily wrap our heads around this concept, because most of us have experienced doing things we didn’t want to do because we were also under the influence.
Did you ever think of people in your life that you have a hard time with, either connecting to them, or finding the good in a certain individual, might be the same as that drunk person? Not all of us behave the same way, but there could be a really good reason some people act the way they do. It could be due to their home environment, past traumas, inherited traits, religious beliefs, serotonin levels, lack of sleep, misinformation, chemical imbalances, past experiences, lack of self-worth, and the list is really endless. All of these things flow through us, just like alcohol. Instead of getting upset at these people, step back and think that this person is probably trying to be their best selves with what they have. We all have our bad days, and we all act inappropriately from time to time.
Luke 6:37 tells us, “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Next time, when a person is rubbing you the wrong way, or you think they might be being rude or disrespectful, chances are there is a reason why they are acting this way. They are drunk in their own internal problems. Nobody is perfect, and we have to show a bit more patience towards people. Just like me not understanding my grandmother, like my mother said, she was sick. We all have our own sicknesses of one sort or another, and we all have our stories. We all act the way we do for a reason. Next time, instead of getting upset, realize that they are just acting the best way they know how, with what they have, in the situation they are in.