I am self proclaiming the title of “The Queen of the Parenting Books!” When it comes to a parenting book, I have either, read the reviews and decided not to read the book, or I’ve read the book. Once I had my children, I didn’t trust my own instincts and I truly value education. I took it upon myself to educate myself in every area, and every stage of my parenting journey. Obsessed might be a word one might use to describe me…but that is being kind.
The other day I stumbled across an entirely new way of looking at parenting. Spiritual Parenting. Have you ever heard of it? I saw this video on the outer boarder of another video I was watching and my old parenting OCD set in, and I just had to curb my curiosity. It was a video from Wanderlust called, “Spiritual Parenting: Evolving your Lineage” by Elena Brower at Wanderlust’s Speakeasy Conference. It was a very different way of looking at parenting than I have ever read before.
Her point of view was that we have to learn to love and accept our own parents before we can ever become good parents ourselves. If we don’t face the things that bother us about our parents, we will continue to do these actions ourselves, and history will repeat itself. How often do we see that happening? Even the things we don’t like that our parents do, all of a sudden we find ourselves doing the exact same thing. Eeeek!
Her philosophy is, we have to learn and accept that our parents loved us and did the very best they could with the tools they had. As the old saying goes, “You can’t give what you don’t have.” This holds very true when it comes to parenting as well. If you don’t know what love is, and you’ve never experienced it, how do you give it?
Her recommendations were to interview your own parents about their relationship and thoughts on their parents. She suggests that we write down all that they tell you, and it is also a great record to have of your parent’s view of your grandparents. Eager to try this out, to make myself a better parent to my own children, I started interviewing my parents. They have just conformed to my craziness and know it is easier to play along with my hair brained schemes.
To their surprise, I think they really enjoyed reminiscing about their late parents, and reliving their childhood memories. My mother, in her wise ways, stood strong with her belief that her mother did the best with what she had and I now see exactly what my mother means about my grandmother. This only took about 40 years to accomplish.
My father on the other hand had such lovely things to say about both of his parents. One of his comments really stuck in my head. He remembered that he never seen his mother sleep. Can you imagine that? My dad explained that she would go to bed after him, and would be up earlier that anyone else, and she never napped.
Instantly, my brain went to the coveted Proverbs 31 Woman. My idol. Proverbs 31:15 “She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.”
My grandmother was what I inspire to be. History is repeating itself! The woman that I try so hard to mimic every day of my life, only to fall short every day from what I plan. Then to hear my dad say these words only solidified what I need to do. Keep trying to be a better person than I was the day before. That’s all anyone can ever do, or bad history will continue to repeat itself.
Someday I will reach this goal of mine. If not today, or tomorrow, or a year from now, I am not going to stop trying until I do. The first step is realizing that our parents did the very best they could with what they had, and now the rest is up to us to improve on. We have to stop blaming others for the way we are and start stepping up for ourselves and use God as our strength to help us change what needs to be changed.