As a teacher, the least favorite part of my job is testing children. I’m fine with doing it orally with them, having them talk me through what they are supposed to do and the steps they take to get to an answer, but for me to give them multiple pages of questions to be done all alone and them knowing their work will be evaluated and then give them a ranking or a score really bothers me. I find it very discouraging to many young children and it robs some youngsters of their self-worth, but it is part of the school system for thousands of years and it is something that will probably never change.
While I have my own internal battle on this part of my job, it got me to reflecting about life. My heart bleeds for some of these poor children that I have to test because I know that their anxiety level raises as soon as I ask them to separate their desks and make sure nothing is on their desk besides a pencil and an eraser. Many children just blank out when it is time for them to demonstrate what they know on a piece of paper, and I honestly can’t blame them.
In all reality, however, our life on Earth is one big test. The multiple choice kind. Many times as we work our way through this life, we are faced with many different options and we have to choose what we want to do with these options.
Just like the students I teach and blank out, we as humans sometimes get this test anxiety too. We know what our options are, but we don’t always choose the right answer. We’ve been taught the right and wrong way to do things, but somehow, some way, we are attracted to that answer that we probably know is wrong.
Luckily, life is one big re-test. If we choose the wrong answer on the first test, we are going to be faced with the same question over and over and over again, until we finally come up with the right answer and change our old response.
Have you ever notice that? Somehow that wrong answer that you made on the first test of life keeps haunting you. Maybe it is how you handle your finances. You just can’t find the correct answer on how to save for that rainy day. Could it be that you fail in your relationship test? You seem to pick the same kind of person that constantly lets you down. For some reason you always think when you meet a new person that this relationship is going to be different? It could even be your test with your job. You just can’t find that job that you really love.
Whatever the test. Whatever the choice. It is you that has to realize what your habitual wrong answer is. And why? You have to start paying attention to these repeat offenses because we have to realize these are the tests we’ve come to in this world to learn and grow us in our spiritual growth. Our body is really just a learning device for our mind and soul…is it not?
Just like the adorable, hard-working, smart students in my class who know the material I am testing them on but still bomb the test, as adults in this test of life, we are bombing our test too. Why? Many of the times we are choosing the wrong answers because we lack self-esteem, self-love and self-gratitude. We have to learn to love our selves before we are going to ever find any happiness with anyone or ever get our relationship tests right. We also have to learn to love ourselves before our financial situation will turn around, or any area of our life test.
A Course in Miracles says, “Corrective learning always begins with the awakening of the spirit and the turning away from the belief in physical sight. This often entails fear, because you are afraid of what your spiritual sight will show you.” Are you scared of what you will learn if you start looking at your life from the act of spiritual sight? Don’t be. The Universe is a loving place to be tested.
The students that do great on my mandatory class tests are those students that know they are smart, that are confident in their thinking and that are sure their thinking process is strong. They have no fear of failure and their faith is strong. We have to realize that we need to find this faith and confidence in our self and get rid of the fear inside of us and our test taking skills will improve. Fear is our way of making us fail. It’s not our spirit that needs to be taught right from wrong, it is our ego. Learning is frightening because it leads to the destruction of our ego. When we are reminded of our true creation, our ego can only respond in fear.
Once we can destroy our egos we will all pass this test of life with flying colors. It is always our egos that hold us back in this world. Our egos want to us to end a relationship before we get hurt. Our egos are worried about what other people think. Our egos want to ruin us financially because it makes us think we need the best of the best. Our egos destroy our lives in many other ways. If only we would start to learn this and the next life’s re-test we leave our egos out of the test. Then we would pass with flying colors, otherwise, we will be taking many more tests in our future.
I’m sure it’s not just me that hates giving test. I’m sure God feels the same way I do when he gives out life’s tests. He wants us to pass our life’s tests, but he is such a patient God. He will keep giving us the test over and over trying to talk us through. He is giving us the answers the entire time, we just have to learn to listen and stop letting our egos get in the way of our correct response.
Next time you notice yourself failing on one of life’s test. Stop. Breathe. Listen. What is it that the Universe is shouting at you? What is it that you have been ignoring about your true self. Realize that just like a teacher sits with her students one on one to talk them through their test, God is there doing the same thing for you with life. If only you would listen!