Life’s Re-Test

As a teacher, the least favorite part of my job is testing children.  I’m fine with doing it orally with them, having them talk me through what they are supposed to do and the steps they take to get to an answer, but for me to give them multiple pages of questions to be done all alone and them knowing their work will be evaluated and then give them a ranking or a score really bothers me.  I find it very discouraging to many young children and it robs some youngsters of their self-worth, but it is part of the school system for thousands of years and it is something that will probably never change.

While I have my own internal battle on this part of my job, it got me to reflecting about life.  My heart bleeds for some of these poor children that I have to test because I know that their anxiety level raises as soon as I ask them to separate their desks and make sure nothing is on their desk besides a pencil and an eraser.  Many children just blank out when it is time for them to demonstrate what they know on a piece of paper, and I honestly can’t blame them.

In all reality, however, our life on Earth is one big test.  The multiple choice kind.  Many times as we work our way through this life, we are faced with many different options and we have to choose what we want to do with these options.

Just like the students I teach and blank out, we as humans sometimes get this test anxiety too.  We know what our options are, but we don’t always choose the right answer.  We’ve been taught the right and wrong way to do things, but somehow, some way, we are attracted to that answer that we probably know is wrong.

Luckily, life is one big re-test.  If we choose the wrong answer on the first test, we are going to be faced with the same question over and over and over again, until we finally come up with the right answer and change our old response.

Have you ever notice that?  Somehow that wrong answer that you made on the first test of life keeps haunting you.  Maybe it is how you handle your finances.  You just can’t find the correct answer on how to save for that rainy day.  Could it be that you fail in your relationship test?  You seem to pick the same kind of person that constantly lets you down.  For some reason you always think when you meet a new person that this relationship is going to be different?  It could even be your test with your job.  You just can’t find that job that you really love.

Whatever the test.  Whatever the choice.  It is you that has to realize what your habitual wrong answer is.  And why?  You have to start paying attention to these repeat offenses because we have to realize these are the tests we’ve come to in this world to learn and grow us in our spiritual growth.  Our body is really just a learning device for our mind and soul…is it not?

Just like the adorable, hard-working, smart students in my class who know the material I am testing them on but still bomb the test, as adults in this test of life, we are bombing our test too.  Why?  Many of the times we are choosing the wrong answers because we lack self-esteem, self-love and self-gratitude.  We have to learn to love our selves before we are going to ever find any happiness with anyone or ever get our relationship tests right.  We also have to learn to love ourselves before our financial situation will turn around, or any area of our life test.

A Course in Miracles says, “Corrective learning always begins with the awakening of the spirit and the turning away from the belief in physical sight.  This often entails fear, because you are afraid of what your spiritual sight will show you.”  Are you scared of what you will learn if you start looking at your life from the act of spiritual sight?  Don’t be.  The Universe is a loving place to be tested.

The students that do great on my mandatory class tests are those students that know they are smart, that are confident in their thinking and that are sure their thinking process is strong.  They have no fear of failure and their faith is strong.  We have to realize that we need to find this faith and confidence in our self and get rid of the fear inside of us and our test taking skills will improve.  Fear is our way of making us fail.    It’s not our spirit that needs to be taught right from wrong, it is our ego.  Learning is frightening because it leads to the destruction of our ego.  When we are reminded of our true creation, our ego can only respond in fear.

Once we can destroy our egos we will all pass this test of life with flying colors.  It is always our egos that hold us back in this world.  Our egos want to us to end a relationship before we get hurt.  Our egos are worried about what other people think.  Our egos want to ruin us financially because it makes us think we need the best of the best.  Our egos destroy our lives in many other ways.  If only we would start to learn this and the next life’s re-test we leave our egos out of the test.  Then we would pass with flying colors, otherwise, we will be taking many more tests in our future.

I’m sure it’s not just me that hates giving test.  I’m sure God feels the same way I do when he gives out life’s tests.  He wants us to pass our life’s tests, but he is such a patient God.  He will keep giving us the test over and over trying to talk us through.  He is giving us the answers the entire time, we just have to learn to listen and stop letting our egos get in the way of our correct response.

Next time you notice yourself failing on one of life’s test.  Stop.  Breathe.  Listen.  What is it that the Universe is shouting at you?  What is it that you have been ignoring about your true self.  Realize that just like a teacher sits with her students one on one to talk them through their test, God is there doing the same thing for you with life.  If only you would listen!



Where does the time go?  I can’t believe that it is the first of November already!  I’m finally getting back into our fall/winter routine with our busy sports and school schedule and with this new season, I also have been implementing a few new rules in our home.  I’m trying to break the cell phone addiction, and it is seems to be more painful than I expected.

I love my children and both of them are fairly busy with sports, but the days that they don’t have sports I have deemed that they have to go an hour without ANY screen time.  No TV, no phones, no tablets or computers.  Nothing.  They can read, meditate, clean the home, or just hang out with family or friends.

An hour doesn’t seem like a long time, but in all honesty it is if you don’t have something productive to do with your time.  At the end of the hour I enjoy listening to the items that my children actually did accomplish, and I am proud that they are getting better at it as time goes on.

Our world might have everything at our finger tips; knowledge, communication, shopping, and even food; but what we don’t have is knowledge, communication or a relationship with our inner self.  We have this powerful world of the Internet, but what we really need is an “Inner-Net”.  A means for us to tap into our own personal power.  Get in touch with who we really are.  What makes us tick.

If only plugging into someone’s Wi-Fi, or using our data could guide us to find this within ourselves we would be all set.  But it is not that easy.  We actually have to plug into ourselves.  Just like forming a relationship or getting to know a friend, we have to form a relationship with ourselves.  We have to actually put some quality time and energy into getting to know ourselves.  Communicating with ourselves.  And, most importantly, learning to love ourselves.

Do you remember when you first fell in love with someone?  How you couldn’t get enough of them.  You wanted to be with them day and night.  You would stay up all night chatting about each other’s life experiences, their likes and dislikes and just getting to know every area of the person’s world.

You might think, “I already know everything I need to know about myself.”  But this isn’t true.  There are hidden emotions that are buried in your subconscious.  There are mental scars that you pushed under the rug.  People have said things to you that wounded your self-esteem and you believe these horrible lies that were told to you.  Unless you can truly say that you love every inch of yourself and there is nothing that you would change about yourself, just like that person that you fell head over heels for, than you need to get to know yourself better.

Have you ever lifted up a heavy rock that grass grows all around?  Is there grass growing under that heavy rock?  No.  There is no sun hitting the ground beneath the rock to help the grass grow.  That is much the same as yourself if you are buried in the avalanche of a busy life like most of us are.  You have to allow yourself to slowdown and shine some light under that rock of life.

How do you do this?  Through mindfulness.  Taking time away from your phone, TV, computers, and life in general and just sit, or walk, or do the dishes mindfully.  Do the dishes for the sake of doing the dishes.  Not hurrying through them so you can catch your latest addiction on Netflix.  Not doing the dishes thinking about how horrible your day was.  Just do the dishes.  In silence.  Or sit in silence for a while just to sit in silence.  If a thought comes into your head, deal with that thought.  Then move on.

Just like many children are addicted to screens, adults can also get addicted to worry and anxiety that comes with this craziness we call life.  In order to break ourselves of this habit we have to go within ourselves and find what it is we need.  We need to find our own “Inner-Net”.  Our own way of communicating with ourselves.  It’s time we stop repeating the same mistakes that our subconscious is programmed to make.  We have to quit dwelling on the past, thinking about the future and live in the now.  With our amazing selves.

Dial into your own incredible “Inner-Net” power that lives vibrantly inside of you.  It has all your answers to all your problems, but you have to learn to listen to yourself.  There are many answers waiting for you that are even closer than your fingertips.

You have something alive inside of you that is even more powerful that the Internet.  It’s your intuition.  It’s your sixth sense.  We all have it, but is yours buried under that rock?  If so, it is time to lift that rock, take some time for yourself and find your true self.

Try and break your habits, just like I’m trying to break the habits of my children.  You may be pleasantly surprised with the change.  Mindfully take some time for yourself.  Start to get to really know yourself.  I promise if you do, you will fall deeper in love with yourself that you have ever loved anyone before.  Then it doesn’t matter who wrongs you, or hurts you because you always have the most powerful resource inside of yourself.  Your own “Inner-Net”!!!