Christmas Changes

I love Christmas…it really is a magical time of the year.  The lights.  The presents.  The songs.  The gifts.  It just seems like there is just such an incredible amount of love at Christmas time more so than any other time of the year.  As the old saying goes, “Tis the season to be jolly”, and jolly most people are!

But not everyone is jolly this time of the year.  If you have lots of people loving you and surround you, then it’s great.  But what about those people that really don’t have many people around during the holidays?  This time of the year must be really rough for them.  Then you have some people have tons of loving people surrounding them and they are still sad and lonely.  Why is that?

What about if you don’t get that special gift that you’ve been wishing for?  What if your holiday dreams don’t come true?  It can be a very devastating time of the year, especially once all the hype of Christmas is over and you realize you still aren’t happy.

As I get older, I have more and more of my friends losing loved ones and having to find a new normal in their lives without their moms or their dads or other important people in their lives.  Some of my friends are even losing people they love in divorce or choosing to live their lives without their significant other for one reason or another.  They have grown apart.  They found love in someone else.  They finally found their soul mate.  Their perceptional reasons for this is endless.

All these factors are changes in our worlds.  Also changes in our other loved ones’ worlds.  Our other family members are affected too.  Children are affected.  In-laws.  Even friend circles are changed when these things occur.  I know I still remember the pain of losing my grandfather.  It was sudden and I loved that man more than anything I could ever describe.  He was my world when I was a fourteen year old girl.  But, we made a new normal and life moves forward.

Sadly, change is inevitable.  We have to learn to deal with it.  Even when we lose a loved one.  Nothing in this world is permanent.  No job.  No relationship.  Nothing.  That is why we have to value every little moment.  We should be making every day like Christmas, especially with the people we cherish.  We have to make sure we are the most kind and caring to those that we adore the most…not treat them worse than we would treat a stranger, just because we can.  It happens though.  For some reason we treat the people we love the most the worst.  Why is that?

Do you remember how in love you were when you first met your “soul mate”?  The person that you knew that you would spend eternity with?  You were convinced that they were made for you.  They made you feel special.  You felt loved like you have never felt before.  Was it really them that made you happy, or were you just making yourself happy at the time?  Was it the newness of the relationship that made you happy?  The change?

My wish this Christmas is to convince people they need nothing this Christmas.  Nothing that can be bought or given to you by someone else.  Nothing but the ability to learn to love themselves.  Stop searching for that new something or that special person to make you happy.  Learn that your soul mate is really you.  It’s time to mate with your own soul.  You aren’t going to find happiness in anything but yourself.

I’m fortunate to have both my parents still around to share in this holiday season.  Our children still get the joy of having all four grandparents participating in making their Christmas bright.  They get to have their two parents waking up together on Christmas morning, but I don’t ever want my children basing their happiness on any of these impermanent factors.   I want to teach my children that it is them that make their Christmas merry.  Not the people, not the presents, but the best gift is the ability to learn to totally adore and love themselves.

We have to let go of trying to control what will make us happy and realize true happiness HAS to come from within.  A wise woman once told me, “Once you learn to love yourself, all the pieces of your divine destiny will fall in place.”

This Christmas, face all your changes with the knowing that when you truly love yourself you can face any adversity that is brought your way because you have the love and support of yourself to help you.

Give yourself the gift of self-love this Christmas.  This doesn’t mean getting a pedicure, or treating yourself to a facial.  This means to dig deep inside of you and start to love every inch of yourself…even your ugly feet.

Once you have this gift, your Christmas and every day of the year will be complete.  Put the gift of self-love at the top of your Christmas Wish List today!