In honor of Father’s Day coming up, I wanted to pay tribute to the father of my children. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but when it came to choosing a father for my children, I definitely hit the Jackpot. Actually that is one of my on-going jokes. I have no luck anymore because I used it all up finding my husband. In all honesty, this man is everything I imagined the father of my children to be.
One of my favorite techniques that my husband uses when parenting our children is the technique he refers to as “The Easy Way or the Hard Way”. As soon as he says these words, our children know exactly what he is referring to.
When they were younger, in their testing-their-boundaries stages, if we asked them to do something and they kicked up a fuss, my husband would say, “We can do this the easy way or the hard way, you choose.” They knew exactly what this choice meant. They could either go along with what was being asked of them and cooperate, or be forced to do it with my husband’s help. And they never did enjoy this method.
They knew that it would be way more painful if their father brushed their teeth. Or they knew it was not as pleasant to have him take their hands and pick up their dishes out of the living room, one dish at a time, and bring it out to the kitchen with his help. They always halfheartedly laughed at his technique, but it was more because of his silliness in his helping method than anything.
I feel this is very much what our souls go through as they are here on Earth learning their own boundaries. Our Creator is sitting back, watching our souls grow and giving us lots of love and guidance along the way. Just like my husband with our children, the Divine is directing our every step, but sometimes he is saying to us, “We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.”
How many of us, many times, choose the hard way? How many of us know that our lives would be much easier if we had of made different choices? How many of us know that if we just had of done what we are being asked to do, life would be much easier but we still choose to do it the hard way. Much suffering come to us over our choices. We had a voice in the back of our minds chanting to us, “You shouldn’t do this.” But, we do it anyway. That is because we are feeding our ego and not our spirit.
Our Creator isn’t here to take us by the hand and lead us, like my husband would do to help our children do what they needed to do whether they wanted to or not. But, if you would stop and get in tune with your soul, you would know the right way to do everything. You would understand what the easy way is and the hard way wouldn’t be an option any more. A good rule of thumb is if it is done with love, it is coming from the Divine. If it is done with hatred, anger, jealousy, bitterness, or revenge, that is totally coming from your ego. The ego does not want you happy. It wants you to feel sorry for yourself. It wants you to blame others. It thrives when you are jealous or envious of others.
But when we make these ego lead choices that taint our souls, the Divine doesn’t stop us, or force us to do what he wanted us to do. Instead, we will make our choice, and then experience the consequences after, however painful they may be. Some may call it Karma, but it is definitely a parenting technique used by our Creator. The Universe will shout a little louder at us the next time we make that same simple mistake. This pattern will continue, with the Universe yelling a little louder and a little louder each time until finally we get it right.
Most of the time, each time that we make the bad choice over and over again, we get to feel the karma or pain of making the wrong choice. You’ve all experienced I am sure. As A Course in Miracles says, “It’s not up to you what you learn, but only whether you learn through joy or through pain.” We are all here on Earth to learn the lessons our soul needs to develop and become enlightened. What method we learn with is up to us. If we do it the easy way, we will experience joy and happiness once we learn and change. If we learn it the hard way, we will continue to experience pain until finally, we let go of our egos and let our consciousness take over. Let love rule.
Now, that our children are 13 and 15 years of age, I rarely hear their father use this parenting technique. They just know that they have these two choices, and they don’t even have to be reminded of what choice to make. They were fast learners. I’m now 44 and have been on my spiritual path for three and a half years now, and I’m finally starting to clue in like my children. I can either learn my lessons the easy way or the hard way too. Finally, I’m letting my ego go and learning my soul’s lessons the easy way.
What is your choice? Are you going to continue to go through this life ruled by your ego, and learn things the hard way, or are you going to let the love of the Universe take over and learn things the easy way? Your Father is proud of you either way! He’s a very patient and loving Creator!